Sometimes I amuse myself by playing devil’s advocate to my own convictions. Soon after posting last week’s articles, C.B. (aka Caitlyn B aka Critical Bastard) rose to the surface and shared her colorful perspective.
CB: Yeah, that’s nice and all, but come on Valerie. I’m more than enough exactly as I am? Why would anyone ever better themselves if they adopted this viewpoint? It’s that constant striving that makes us better as a species, ever pushing us into our next stage of advancement and evolution. Sometimes we have to be hard on ourselves in order to fulfill our potential. Doesn’t this I’m-good-enough-as-I-am-where-I-am airy fairy nonsense lead one to complacency or straight up laziness?
How might I respond to a real life Caitlyn?
Hmmm.
Let me think.
Wait for it.
“F--- off!”
Couldn’t resist. No, I really wouldn’t say that. My response may be something more along the lines of…
Last week I wrote about mindshifting the belief
You raise a good point and I see where you’re coming from. To me the question is: how do we harmonize the good-enough self-talk with the consistent pursuit to develop ourselves professionally and personally? I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive.
You're more than enough exactly as you are does not mean you stop developing your skill sets. The good-enough talk provides vital perspective while we pursue, grow, develop and conquer our respective worlds. It's a way of thinking about the essence of who we are, that our core, our worth does not come from any singular accomplishment or endeavor. If we base our worth on transient factors, like bank account balances, promotions or how many times our boyfriend or girlfriend tells us he/she loves us, then when will we ever be satisfied? When will we ever arrive? There’s always some new height that can be reached, some better way of doing things. By saying you’re more than enough no matter what is another way of saying, “Regardless of external factors, my self-worth remains intact. I don’t need outside validation to feel good about myself.” To require external justification is to place the power where it shouldn’t be.
You are more than enough means you no longer beat yourself up for not being perfect. Strive all you want. Develop your skills all you want. But you get to be level-headed and balanced about it. You are more than enough means you get to speak to yourself as you would a dear loved one while you skip, stumble, get back up, soar, coast, dip, fall back down and rise again. I don’t think there’s anything complacent about that.
Let’s sum it up.
Mindset: Adopting the belief that I’m more than enough no matter what will result in my personal evolutionary ruin.
Mindshift: “More than enough” provides a grounded perspective as I continue to achieve and reach new heights in my life.
Capiche?
Capiche!
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